Febuary
7th, 2005
Our
identity crisis
Who are we? Where are we going? Where did we come from?
Chapter Four: The Promissed Land
We
finally arrived, I had never seen such a large port, well Genoa’s
was, also as Rio’s, but the one at Buenos Aires was intimidating
and had much more movement of cargo boats as well as huge commercial
ones.
I
remember, like in previous commentaries, that while I am writing,
they pass by mi mind and travel through mi vision.
That
is why I always say that children have a more beautiful mind,
because it is pure, it has not been contaminated and it is really
nice, even though we usually don’t beleive them, they see the good
and the bad, with a special spice, mix it and they don’t let that
bother them.
Nothing
was more unique, in my early years, that that moment, and it was
only the beggining, nothing else but the birth of my relationship
with wonderland country, without even knowing that fairy tales
existed.
I
stared at my mother’s radiant smile, which always had a dash of
melancholy, contradictary, but that was how she was.
On
the other hand, sadness was very clear, yes, my father’s sadness,
understandable, whereas my brothers had happy looks, even though
they always remained quiete and prudent.
So
many people...So many immigrants, as us...
immensity, and we
were welcomed with smiles and good treatment.
Well, it wasn’t something to be astonished for, but
in my country it is not common for people to smile at you, usally
there weren’t any reasons, besides, the education and culture,
I would start to notice, it was so different.
Suddenly, we found ourselves in the gigantic train
station of Retiro...with very wide allies, galleries, shops, shops?
And so many railway platforms from were trains departed every
few minutes, thousands of people coming and going, and there we were
carrying our few bags, impressed.
We got
in the train, which would take us to a station called Coghland, and
enjoying that travel, which seemed so long, mostly because my eyes
were not enough to look at houses from side to side, which were
everywhere (actually, they we apartments, but at that time, I was
not aware that was their name), and I would stare at a wide street
which I then learned that it was Avenida del Libertador, the widest
in the world.
We
had a great advantage compared to most of the foreigners which
arrived to this country: we had a house.
Yes,
we had it because my aunt had custody of the house she and my mother
had in that neighborhood, and that was the reason which finally
convinced my father to return to Argentina, since over there,
actually, we had nothing but hunger and a communist future, but a
different type of communism, of
auto-administration, with dignity, hunger, education, and a sort of
future.
And
we arrived to a strange station, at least strange to what we knew in
Yugoslavia, I then found out it was done by the English, and like
them.
Few hundred meters away, the shape of what I then learned was the
SIAM DI TELLA factory, amazing, there they made cars.
What
a country, my god!
A few blocks more and we were in a certain street called Tronador,
and a short lady who screamed and cried at the same time while
watching the arrival of the whole family, it was my aunt, who could
not believe what she was seeing.
Afterwards,
as time went by, I learned that she was the miracle maker of the
return to Argentina, and she was the most beautiful person I have
ever met, she was what was most similar to what in Christianity is
known as a saint, she lived for God and for everyone around her,
without caring about her, or the various suffering she had to go
through in her life.
But, nevertheless, at least for what my father thought and a bit my
mother, things were going to get ugly, that is why the three of them
stayed talking before entering the house, and I was amazed to
realize that everybody down the block was standing outside their
houses, staring at the foreigners.
Basically, when facing my mother’s constant rejection to returning
to Argentina, especially my father’s, as she worked babysitting in
a family house around the corner, my aunt could not think of a
better idea than getting a rent.
It
was a logical idea, understandable and specially reasonable for how
incredible a person with little instruction and no knowledge on
investments, the point that that action allowed her in five years to
buy a property in Castelar, parque Leloir (in that time very
inhospitable), what today we call a “casaquinta”, which
logically, she also rented.
What was aggravated of this situation, was that before our
premeditated return, the house was rented as it was back then, and
in the Peronist period the tenant had more rights than the owner of
the house.
The aggravating continued because this was a big house, with an
entrance garage door, followed by a yard, a small but spacious shed
to the right, next to the entrance, a small room to the left, after
the yard, which was rented to a Hungarian who lived by himself, next
to it a living room and dining room, two rooms, a kitchen and
a breakfast room, and at the side a very small room and a bathroom,
where only a small rich family lived.
And
my aunt had arranged that in such a case, the tenant, lord of the
house, would give the small shed, the small room and would leave the
living room and dining room and use instead the breakfast room,
sharing the kitchen, and everything would be under her conditions.
Therefore, one family formed by a marriage, three boys and one girl,
would have to distribute the small room, the small shed, and have at
least for themselves a living and share a kitchen and a bathroom
with another family plus the Hungarian.
That
was unthinkable to my father, at least things like this were not
seen in Yugoslavia, we did not own anything, what we had was small,
but only for ourselves.
What was worse was that my father was short tempered, besides being
very strict, not very keen on dialogue and reaching agreements, he
was a difficult person.
The thing was that we distributed ourselves as we could, almost in
promiscuity, I even felt happy (well!, I was happy, I was far away
from all those silliness) because my aunt had given me a toy, the
first one I had in my life, a locomotive made from painted can.
The
next day, my dad had already argued with the lord of the house, and
the man kicked us out, placing our things in the yard for us to
leave, while I stayed put and I only cared that no one took my
locomotive from me.
The arrival of my aunt changed the situation back to where it was.
Without
realizing it, she was negotiating with the tenants for them to leave
in exchange of an important monetary compensation she would give
them.
Meanwhile,
I started to live in this new country.
I
established a good relationship with the Hungarian, not at all with
the bossy Argentinean who made me feel a beggar and an invader of
his supposed property, besides he was rood, had no manners and I
realized what an ignorant he was, and take into account that my
father also was one, but…
Then
one day, I decided to go out by myself wearing my father’s hat, a
paperweight hat with a D’artagnan style, tied to my belt.
Since
the street was empty while I was walking, I started to sing
something I had heard and which was hard to get of my mind: “Perón,
Perón how great you are, mi general…”, and suddenly a police
car stops right next to me, allowing an officer to scream furiously
something like: “you little brat, shut up and go back to your
house, or you will go to jail, you’ll see how much you’ll like
it.”
Well,
I faced repression from very young, it would have been more natural
if I had already seen it back in my country, which was communist,
but no.
I
went running back home, with my tale between my legs.
We
had arrived one day of November, precisely the day of the dead.
Therefore,
one month and a few days later, before I acclimate too much (even
though I now knew what was to eat everyday, and besides eat well)
the holidays were arriving.
By
then, my father had found a job nearby, with the help of an
acquaintance of my aunt, selling newspapers in a kiosk, therefore,
the picture was improving.
I
was amazed by the amount of heat, and it was only spring, well, I
would then be realizing that the colds back then were nothing
compared to those I used to know.
But
what was more impressive was to see one day where people took out to
the sidewalks of their houses, tables, even scaffolds they improvised
with more tables covered with their table cloths, and were they
would start placing chicken, meat, lamb, pork, etc, etc.
Even a fruit as incredible as the granada, which, even though
everything was strange to us, that was something exotic.
It
was christmas eve.
Well,
it was something huge, as so was christmas.
But
there was more...the celebration of the end of the year, and the
best celebration yet, the arrival of the new year.
No,
no, it could not be true, and it was, we were so happy.
And
yet, there was more, mi mother telling me about the magic kings...??
What was that?? And mi aunt was teaching me the story, more from the
religious side, for it was for my aunt what was most important.
She
was telling me that what every kid does is to leave his or her shoes
with some grass and a jar of water for the king’s camels, while
the three kings leave their gifts.
I
was so anxious for them to arrive that I could not sleep, but my
mother nearly forces me by telling me that if I saw the magic kings
they would leave no presents for me.
And
finally I fell asleep, and the next day I overslept and ran to see
through mi window, and saw that the shoes were empty, no water, but
with two gifts: my first domino and my first puzzle.
It
was overwhelming what I was going through in this Argentina.
I
rushed down the street to show my few aquientances the gifts that
the kings had brought me, I was a bragger.
It
was then were I learnt what the social difference were, one of them
goes out to the street dressed with the full outfit of River Plate.
Another
one has the outfit of some Cisco kid.
Another
one with a bike.
Another
one with a foosball table.
Another
one...another one....and so on....
Everyone
looking down at me, showing off, and showing off.
I
went in mi house and played by myself.
It
was then when I learned what social and class difference were.
Well,
I still had the Carnaval to enjoy, another beauty I had no idea
existed.
So
many things overwhelmed me, and I still had to fit in the society.
But
well, everything was so marvellous, that it should be one more step,
that was what I though.
Marijan Pirsic
|