May
26th, 2005
Our
Identity Crisis
Who
are we? Where are we going? Where did we come from?
Eleventh Chapter: The journey of the streets of
Buenos Aires…
In the course of my life in primary school, the experience was really beautiful, besides the rigid teachings and some minor inconveniences, I can only sing about everything that was given to me which had a positive outcome.
It was when I learned what hard demand was, the worries for education, well reflected by the work of the teachers with a good student-teacher relationship, it was everything.
It was very important to see how education became separate of the church influence and even of the ominous political actions.
I remember, when I had just arrived to the country that the school notebooks had the picture of Peron and Evita, typical of a fascist government or properly communist, where the leaders are idolized or worshiped to incredible extreme measures.
Well, I must also say that I was negatively impressed by the luxury of the catholic churches and the non catholic ones.
But well, my mind was simply exploring, learning and interpreting.
I must clarify that that was what appeared most, since I am not one of the brilliant people.
It is because of this that, complementary with the school, I started to travel through the streets.
I remember I was very young and even still, when I worked as a milkman, my boss had already made me try the famous strong alcohols, therefore for me, it was more than simple to drink beer in winter or summer or cognac, or a small glass of liquor.
In anyway, it was never an abuse or even the
beginning of the road to alcohol, no, everything in its’ proper measure, a simple and necessary knowledge.
But well, my family little by little became stronger, my father had already left the factory which he was fed up of, and which made him wake up extremely early in the morning, prevailing us time with him, to work more at ease in a newsstand near our home and to the Coghland train station.
I then started to became aware of corruption.
But while my brothers not only worked, but also studied, I felt much better.
One day my father tells us that the police went by the newsstand in a police car (he was new at the job) and asked for two newspapers and a couple of magazines, to which my father picked them up and before giving them to them y told them what the cost was.
The policemen apparently could not understand him and explained that the owner and the previous newspaperman would give them to them for free.
My father simply asked them to come back later when the owner was there, or they could ask him personally, but that he could not break the rules of the sale.
The next day they came back, demanding the owner to obey the municipal laws and paint the newsstand.
The excuses for my father’s behavior, which he had already punished, were useless, he had to do it besides my father’s and his discomfort and the delivery of newspapers and magazines.
My father was very sad and felt powerless since there was nothing he could do.
That bad sensation lasted very little, since shortly after this episode, one day, while crossing the Congreso Avenue, we found out that he was hit by a bus and was at the Pirovano Hospital.
I remember arriving with my mother and one of my brothers and we saw him with a big black eye, mumbling a few words, while a doctor made him sit down in a stretcher and gently hit him on the knee with a hammer, to which, he barely responded.
Then all he said was: he may go home, put him some ice on the eye (you could hardly see the eye) and make him drink lots of fluids, and in a couple of days come back to see me.
My father practically did not respond.
We took him in a cab.
He did not make it through that night.
We can call it mal praxis or bad medical attention, but my father had died.
I was not aware of that at that moment.
I then hid and remained by myself, crying all night, it was the third time I cried in my life.
The burial was brutal for my mind and my life.
From that moment, everything changed for me.
I stopped signing with my first and last name.
I only signed with my first name for the rest of my life.
I had acknowledged that from then on I would always be alone.
Marijan Pirsic
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